13. “Lady Marmalade” / “Zidler’s Rap” (The Can-Can)
Does anyone really like when Zidler raps? Especially if it means he is going to make this face?
12. “The Show Must Go On”
This song is really depressing. It’s when Satine decides she has to break Christian’s heart, and predictably, it does not go well.
11. “Children of the Revolution”
This particular number will make you wonder if you somehow ingested acid earlier in the day.
In a good way? Kind of.
10. “Nature Boy” (Opening)
This song is lovely, but it is too short to have a higher rank. It does, however, mention the mantra of the entire film: “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”
9. “One Day I’ll Fly Away”
Satine’s soliloquy. This is upsetting. She just wants to be free!
8. “Like A Virgin”
This scene is mostly just disturbing (albeit entertaining).
7. “Diamond’s Are A Girl’s Best Friend” / “Material Girl”
This musical number first introduces us to the glory that is Satine; and thus, is the most ~magical.~
6. “The Pitch (Spectacular Spectacular)”
Some may say this is the most ridiculous part of the movie. I find it endearing.
5. “Come What May”
The secret song that they create to let each other know that they love one another is basically the foundation of the film!
4. “El Tango de Roxanne”
This is arguably one of the best dance/musical numbers in the entire movie. The moves, the passion, the look of terror on Nini’s face when the Narcoleptic Argentinean is dancing with her…love. it. all.”
3. “Elephant Love Song Medley”
All the love songs, all the feels. I would pass out if Ewan said this to me. How did Satine keep it together?
2. “Your Song”
If the beginning of this song doesn’t sell you, by the end of it you are rooting for these two. This is the moment Satine starts falling for Christian — my heart CANNOT HANDLE.
1. “Come What May” (Reprise)
This scene starts out really sad because Christian “pays his whore.” BUT THEN fantastic things happen, they start singing, petals fall from the sky and it’s truly the best moment ever!